Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Empty mind = Lots of rust....!!

just recently finished with my exams....and now i have a huge problem....so many plans...not even one of them working right....suddenly after the exams i realise a very important thing..i have nothing to do for so many days....
tried watching tv...same old serials..same old movies...same old everything...
tried reading...morning=newspaper...afternoon=magazine.....evening=novel.....zzzzzz
tried calling people....tried going out for a walk...tried helping out in the house....tried blogging....
even tried going to the gym....
it all seems a waste....i just dont seem to enjoy what i am doing...i just cant put down a finger on one particular thing and say i enjoy doing this....my mind just isnt satisfied....i cant eat right...i get frusterated...i cant sleep right....i get frusterated....i dont know wht i want to do....and that in turn makes me even the more frusterated....
why is the human tendency to be never satisfied with what we achieve...why r we never satisfied on anything.....why are we so hungry for the next step....??
when we were young...we wanted a tricycle....later we get a bicycle for a birthday gift...then we want a new geared bicycle...then..we want a bike....then a more stunning bike...then a small car...then a huge car...our hunger never seems to stop....and because of this hunger...i suppose...one time comes that we have tried out every possible thing to do and still not met up with the limits of satisfaction....only having food water clothing is not called living....i guess living means having a actual life....LIFE is when we are satisfied with ourselves,with wht we do,how we do,wht we are,who we r...and most importantly...when the image in the mirror smiles back at us when we stare at it....!!!!
Right now my image just stares back at me.....there is something missing.....i just cant put my finger on what exactly may i do to make my image smile......the toughts empty my mind as i go in some kinnda trance state to actually discover who i am...what i want....WHAT MAKES ME SMILE...????
an empty mind doesnt always have to rust....after all...to fill an already filled cup is a waste....it will flood and spill....to fill it with new stuff....u need to empty it....!!!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

THIS IS ONE VERY UNFAIR WORLD....!!!

Hey...i wa just back home and i was just flipping through the tv channels.....i wa tired from the whole day...traffic...proffessors...practicals....submissions...and wht not....!!! Its just too much burden on a pea sized brain....!! Coming back home....u have to do ur chores...cannot neglect them.... sometimes i feel...why cant i go for a llloooooooonnnnnngggg holiday with no one to disturb me...no dead lines.....no work....just me....a suntan lotion....lots of sun and sand....and the wide ocean....!!! what a bliss....!!!


I was flipping thru the news and i couldnt belive my eyes....BARACK OBAMA.....NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.....thats fucking shit.....my mind was like"wht is happening to the world? this is so not happening" Why obama out of so many other people.....? I mean there are millions who have worked their ass off night and day....and out of all them...obama get selected?? Wht good has he done to the world? He is serving in White House since not more than 9 months...and even before a yr ends...so much glory?? Did they ever think about other ppl before handing over the prize?? I mean Mahatma Gandhi got nominated thrice but still hasnt got the prize....!!!

THIS IS SO NOT HAPPENNING......I DONT BELIVE IT....!!!! THIS IS JUST SO NOT FAIR....!!!!


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sometimes love just doesnt seem to end...!!!

It has been 5 yrs now bt still even today whenever she looks at his photo.....she has tears in her eyes and almost immediatly she is taken down the memory lane to the day when she first met him....in 1976....he was a doctor and she was a student nurse...she used to work in the ward just opposite to his cabin...they soon became friendss and unknowingly she used to wait everyday for his arrival exactly at 9.30am so as to hae tea with him...he used to love the tea she made for him every single day without fail....and then it became a habit...his day used to start with her and when he went back..he used to wait eagerly for the next day to begin..just to have those few moments with her....

After a few months...the doctor stopped coming to the clinic...she grew miserable n worried as to wht had happened..until one day she found out tht the doctors mother was ill n admitted in the same hospital...she wud go and visit her every day n even wud make food for her often....and then one day the mother died...the doctor went home for the ceremonies.....there,the doctors dad asked him to marry a grl he had choosen for him....he was actually being forced into the marraige when he told tht he was in love with another grl...the reason...the grl was not a bhrahmin...bt the doctor was adamant and even left his home for the grl.....!! After cuming back...he asked the nurse weather she wud marry him..she readily said yes...she was just 17 and madly in love and unaware of all the problems her future had in store for her....they got married on 17th november 1980...and were accepted by the family in 1989....when a daughter was born to the couple....they were a small and happy family....

And then the doctor was detected with cancer....before anything could have been done....he die a very painful death...the woman still blames herself for not being able to save the person she ever loved....and today even after 5 yrs after his demise...the widow still loves him as much as she wud evr have...infact...the love seems to grow as if he comes n talks to her in the night...sometimes she even awaits her death so tht she could reunite with him....it is painfull but love is the way it is....they fought the whole society and their families for their love and the last thing they wished for was to grow old with each other....but she was left alone to grow old on her own.....that is the only complaint she has for god....

This lady is my mother...and the man she always loved....my beloved father.....!!!!

I long to get someone who would actually fight for me in the way my parents did.....so that when i grow old and have white hair on my head n no teeth in my mouth....i would proudly tell my grandchildren about the person who i was madly in love with.....!!!!